I have thought of the word, JOY, so many times. Every time I felt stressed, aggravated, upset, etc, I would remind myself of JOY. It would put a smile on my face, temporarily. As time moved on quickly during the holiday hustle and bustle, I realized this is my theme word. I'm not one to get into New Year's resolutions, but it's an appropriate time to start a renewal. I thought it was a word given to get through the holiday season, but it's not. This is why God brought this word to me. I also realized the word joy - for me, had an acronym J - Jesus, O - only, Y - You. That is why I keep saying JOY, not to emphasize the word, but to use it as an acronym for me. I realize I am at a big time spiritual lull. I have let myself go with the craziness of life. I say often, Lord, you say you don't give us more than we can handle. I am so disappointed with myself. I also tell the Lord, I know I disappoint Him. He already knows. I take on the world each and every day all on my own. That's how I feel, and why I don't find JOY so many times, when God puts it right in my face. I do know how blessed I am. I just don't live it daily. I hope as I journal this year, I see the true JOY in Jesus this year.
For those who know me well, know I struggle with depression. I want to overcome it. It runs rampant in my family. I would like to stop that family curse with me. This is not something I want to pass down to my children. As a Christian, I don't want to be depressed. Something happened to me when I had my first child. I unleashed the hormones for me. Something that should bring such great joy, let off an onset of depression. I don't know why I am the way I am. I don't want to be. With the birth of each child, it got a little worse. I am on medication now. It helps for the most part, there are still some days, it doesn't matter. I may not even know why I feel the way I do. It's a daily struggle. Pray for me.
I know I am blessed with an awesome, godly, husband. I have 4 beautiful children. All of these are true JOY from the Lord. My prayer each day is to start it off right with Him and rely on Him instead of myself this new year. It's not just a new year, but an new beginning to life as it should be.
This is something I have seen before and I now have it on my Facebook. I love what it says.
Happy moments, praise God
Difficult moments, seek God
Quiet moments, worship God
Painful moments, trust God
Every moment, thank God
2 comments:
Welcome to Blogville. I didn't know you had a blog until today. Yea, another fun blog to read!
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